The MTV Movie Awards were last night, and The Twilight Saga: New Moon swept the show, winning Best Movie, Best Actress, and Best Other Shit. I haven’t seen the movie, so I can’t really bitch about it winning, but I will bitch about something else. Year after year, the MTV Movie Awards try to remain relevant and edgy. They get a cool comedian to host (this year it was Aziz Ansari), they roll out a couple of “fucks” and show Christina Aguilera’s glow-in-the-dark vagina. And yet based on the movies that have actually been winning over the last few years, it seems like the voters (and viewers) are too young to know what a vagina is, let alone be able to appreciate a glow-in-the-dark one. Let me elaborate…
The Best Movie winners of the last six years were:
2005- Napoleon Dynamite
2006- Wedding Crashers
2007- Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
2010- New Moon
Now compare these movies with the Best Movie winners of the award show’s first six years:
1992- Terminator 2: Judgement Day
1993- A Few Good Men
1994- Menace II Society
1995- Pulp Fiction
Every single winner from 1992 to 1998 (when Titanic won), was R-rated. They were dark, unique, thought-provoking, and shockingly not even based on theme park rides.
Gritty urban R-rated drama: Best Movie of the year.
Johnny Depp running from sea monkeys: just as good.
Now, I liked Wedding Crashers and thought the first Transformers was very entertaining. I understand that both Twilight and Napoleon Dynamite have loyal followings. But compared to the more adult-oriented films that used to win, it seems that the MTV Movie Awards audience is bleeding over from the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards (which, believe it or not, also awarded Best Movie to Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest in 2007.) It just seems an award show that consistently nominates the best lesbian kiss of the year probably shouldn’t also be giving awards to Disney movies.
The actors have followed a similar trend. The “Best Performance” categories have slowly turned into “Most Likely to Be on Your Son or Daughter’s Tiger Beat Magazine Cover”. This year, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson both won for New Moon. The other nominees included Taylor Lautner, Zac Efron, Amanda Seyfried, Emma Watson, Daniel Radcliffe, and Channing Tatum. Yes, Channing Tatum. Nominated. For acting.
Sarah Michelle Gellar won Best Female Performance for Cruel Intentions in 2000 by playing a coke-addicted teen slut who tries to fuck her own stepbrother; while the last two years have seen Kristen Stewart winning for an abstinence parable written by a Mormon. In 1994, Tom Hanks won Best Male Performance for Philadelphia. Last year the same award went to Zac Efron for High School Musical 3.
Equally moving portrayals of tormented homosexual men.
I understand that most things in the media are directed towards a youthful audience, but MTV needs to stop mixing messages: either pander to the ten-year olds and become another Disney Channel, or go back to showing teenagers what happens when a group of young, ethnic stereotypes give each other herpes at beach houses.
Or another novel idea: play some goddamn music.